This is a topic that bothers me a lot…I guess since social media has become SUCH a huge thing in our lives, it has opened us all up to criticism, “haters” (ugh I hate that word), and unrealistic ideas of what is normal and what is not.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like or where you come from- you’ve probably experienced mean spirited criticism or the word I loathe “haters” at some point, and probably online. Am I right?
I get nasty comments all the time- I get more nice ones than mean ones, but I do still get negative criticisms all the time and if I am being honest, they do bother me a bit. I am human. I think that it is really difficult to be completely un-phased by someone saying something mean about you or the way you look. I try, as we all do, to just delete the comment or message and let it roll off my back because I know that their nasty words are coming from a place of sadness. People who want to tear others down do it to make themselves feel better about their own lives- it’s pathetic, but it’s true.
I mean, it’s sort of the reason many people love reality television, right? You can watch other peoples problems from the safety of your own couch and mouth off about how ridiculous they all are and how you would never behave like those idiots (I know I do this!). It’s a release in a way- a way to be like, “well my life isn’t perfect, but at least I’m not crazy and desperate like so and so on this show!”
It isn’t kind spirited, but we are ALL guilty of this in some way or another.
BUT there is a huge difference in thinking something, and actively trying to tear someone down about something. A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
I would personally NEVER write anything nasty on anyones posts. Period. Do I sometimes roll my eyes at someones post that I find obnoxious? UH HUH. Do I sometimes think someone looks too thin? YES. Do I sometimes think that someone’s cosmetic procedures look obvious or unnecessary? Yea, sometimes. But do I write this to a stranger on social media in an attempt to make them feel bad? NEVER.
What I am trying to convey is that it is normal to judge sometimes, but it’s important to remember that we don’t know everyone personally- we don’t know what other people are going through…and being insensitive is the worst thing you can do for anyone.
Unless someone is a close friend, I would never address something about their body other than saying something nice, or nothing at all, because it is none of my damn business. And if I am concerned about a close friend, I would bring it up privately, never online where it could cause attention and potential embarrassment. It drives me up the fucking wall that people think it’s OK to sit on their phones writing mean comments about other people.
Body shaming is not OK.
But on the topic of body shaming, I want to also bring up something that has been trending up in the past couple of years, and that is the “every body is beautiful no matter what size” mentality.
It is a very nice thing, essentially- people being kind to one another and complimenting everyone and never resorting to body shaming. BUT I think that this mentality can also sort of cloud over what is healthy and what is not healthy regarding weight and body size.
Being way too thin is not healthy and being very overweight is also not healthy…and promoting either of those body images as being perfect, healthy and #bodygoals is not helping anyone. It can hurt more people who have their eyes on these images than you may think.
The girls scrolling through seeing the perfect lives of a tiny skinny girl who thinks her life may be better if she looked like that, the overweight girl who decides not to get healthy because now “curves are back in”…we are all so easily affected by the images we see.
Should people be ashamed to post photos of themselves at any weight? No, absolutely not. Like I said, we don’t know where someone is on their personal health journey and no one is perfect all the time. But I do think that encouraging everyone to work towards finding their healthy weight is very important.
Skinny shaming is a HUGE no-no these days, thank god…but there are plenty of women who are very underweight and not healthy who lots of people look up to and think are perfect. Looking up to an unattainable skinny body type is a huge problem for women- I know it was for me growing up! I think it’s just important to be aware that most people who look that way, look that way for a reason and for most people it is not natural. And for a lot of people who look on, it seems like the ideal body and girls will go to great lengths to try to make their body look that way. This is unhealthy and unsafe. And it breeds insecurity.
On the flip side, there is also a huge embrace for plus-sized models too. It also falls under the category of “every body is beautiful” and I am so happy that women with curves are kicking ass and looking great doing it…BUT it is important to know that obesity is not healthy either. It is not something that should be glorified.
A stick thin body and an overweight body are both not healthy- they are not the types of bodies that should be glorified or encouraged. That doesn’t mean you should fat or skinny shame anyone because that does nothing but make you look like a terrible, insensitive person. But it does mean that we as a society should become more aware of what our own, natural healthy weight is, and go with that. You don’t know what’s going on behind the Instagram photo- many people struggle with their weight in different ways and very few people will share all of that for everyone to see.
Thats why I try to be as honest as possible with all of you about what I have to do to look a certain way for a role etc…because for me and most women I know, it is work.
I used to be a lot skinnier years ago, but it was because I restricted my eating a lot and I made myself look that way. It wasn’t healthy, even though I did eat healthy foods and I did workout- I wasn’t doing any of it for the right reasons. They were all vain reasons. Vain reasons that made me look very thin, but I was not happy. I know very few women who are naturally SUPER skinny- most are skinny because they are trying to be or are very aware of how they want to look. And most overweight people are overweight because they aren’t taking the best care of their bodies either. Being very overweight is bad for your organs and your joints and will lead to complications later on, the same way being too skinny and malnourished will.
I’m fully aware that this is not the case for everyone- and everyones stories are different, but I think we could all benefit from finding our own healthy weights and stop trying to look like something we aren’t.
I will never look like Kim Kardashian unless I got a thousand surgeries, but that’s ok- that is not my body type. I will also never look exactly like Candice Swanepoel, but that is OK too.
Your body is the only one you have- treat it well, care for it, exercise it and feed it nourishing foods. If you do all of that for the right reasons, you will find the right weight your body wants to be. And you will be happier because of it.
And lets stop glorifying any one specific type of body- every body is beautiful, but the most beautiful bodies are healthy ones. Health and strength should be the goal.
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday, if you live here in the USA! I’m back from NY, but struggling with a bad ear infection right now- boo! I think I’m the only adult I know who still gets ear infections yearly! So unlucky!
Love you all- and I hope my little rant came across in a positive way. That’s all I want to do- encourage people to live their healthiest happiest lives.