Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary!
It feels like it was just yesterday…it’s hard to believe it was 4 years ago today!
So in honor of today, I thought I would share a bit of my love story and how Ben and I keep the love strong year after year through all the ups and downs.
Last year, I wrote a blog post about my wedding- all the details and photos galore! I had never shared any of that before with the public, so it meant a lot to me. Check it out here, if you haven’t seen it already!
Ben and I first met a few weeks before my 17th birthday. I was a baby. He was too (he was 21 at the time…scandalous!!) hehe!
We met on the set of a Fall Out Boy music video shoot. Ben was in a band at the time and was good friends with FOB and they asked him to make a cameo. I was cast in the video for my killer dance moves. LOL. Kidding, but not really. If you care, you can watch the video here.
Anyway, I knew who he was because I knew of his band and the only thing I knew about the band was that I thought he was reaaalllyyy cute. Thats basically it. Then I started listening and grew to really like his music, the way he wrote and the lyrics that came from his brain.
We exchanged numbers at that video shoot, hung out a little bit around that time, but I was a teenager in high school and he was touring the world with his band. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. I was devastated. I REALLY liked him. Like crazy. Never felt that way before, head over heels for this guy that I had only known for about a month or two.
Five years went by and I never really got over him. Yes, I moved on…had other boyfriends, dated…but no one ever measured up and I always found myself comparing how I had felt with Ben with how I felt about any guys I dated. Which is crazy, I know!
Meanwhile, through these 5 years, Ben would email me about once a year (FOR FIVE YEARS) just to say hi and check in. Every time I got one of those emails it broke my heart again and I would strategically take a week to respond and sound SO disinterested. I guess that was because that made me feel a bit better about it? It made me feel like I won and didn’t show my true feelings? Yea, I am sure it was a defense mechanism. But even though I was cold as ice, those emails still came yearly.
Then all those years later, I saw him at a party in NYC. I pretended to not see him and I left because I felt overwhelmed. Dumb, but I did that. He messaged me on FACEBOOK a couple weeks later and brought up the idea of getting together. I said yes and this little giddy, butterfly feeling took over my whole body, but I was also SO nervous. I made myself feel better by convincing myself that we were just going to be friends. No Biggie.
WRONG!! SO wrong.
The night we met again, we met at a restaurant I chose in the East Village. The second we said Hi and gave each other a hug, I knew I was going to fall again. The truth was that I never really fell out of love with him. I had been in love with him and hiding it from the age of 16. And seeing him, hugging him… it made me melt.
From that night on we were inseparable. He asked me out the very next day and we went to the Planetarium. I hadn’t and never will have as much fun at a museum than I had that day. Then we went downtown, ate lunch outside, walked around SOHO and ended the night at UCB drinking PBR’s and watching improv. Things have always been so easy…we just get each other so well and the fun just flows like a waterfall.
All these years later, we still have so much fun every single day. We. Crack. Each Other. Up.
We have our ups and downs of course and we do get in fights…but we never let anything really get to us. We don’t go to bed angry and we love each other so much that no issue is too hard to tackle. He is the most supportive person I have ever had in my life- he consoles me when things don’t go my way and celebrates my successes. And I do the same for him. We challenge each other to be better, to do better every day and we are a true team. He is OK with my endless (terrible) car singing and weirdo dances, and I accept the fact that I find random socks, guitar picks and loose change in every corner of the house.
The idea of a couple being a true TEAM is something I believe so strongly in. There shouldn’t be one person who gets to take the reigns and make all the decisions- it should always be a team effort.
It is also so important to remain your own people and do your own things from time to time. Having an identity outside of your significant other is essential in a healthy, loving relationship.
After many years, we do find ourselves falling into routines, and I think that is very normal. But it is also important to focus on you two and break those routines and shake things up! Whatever that means for you! Wink wink!
And for every one out there who is still looking for their special person:
Find someone who is your best friend, who makes you laugh, who will always be your equal, who will be there for you no matter what. True love is hard to find, but when you find it, you will know. You will know and you will realize that the path that brought you to that person, no matter how rocky, was worth every moment of the journey.
We are off now to celebrate our anniversary! We have a super fun day planned and I can not wait to get it started.
Have a lovely weekend beauties!