Let’s talk about negative self talk.
We all do it. Some of us more than others…but regardless of how often you catch yourself being negative to YOU, one thing is for sure: it’s something we need to fix.
We talk to ourselves more than anyone else does. You are stuck with your mind and thoughts all day long- thinking lots of things every waking moment. So isn’t it sort of messed up how negative our self talk can get? It’s not fair to treat yourself that way…yet, still we do it. We still critique ourselves and put ourselves down on the daily.
I know I do.
Not all day long, but the occasional, “ugh I look fat in these pants”… “why are my thighs so huge?”… “I totally messed that up- I’m not good enough” pops into my head. And the crazy part is that it doesn’t feel abnormal…it’s sort of just something I’ve gotten used to I guess. But it’s not good…and it’s time to stop. It’s time to treat ourselves better.
There is always going to be someone who is thinner, fitter, taller, cooler, more successful, more put together etc than you. But that doesn’t make you inferior in any way. In fact, that person who is more “whatever it is” than you, probably looks at another person and has similar thoughts. No one is living a perfect life. No one has it all. No one has zero insecurities.
We are all human, and it’s natural to compare yourself to others- especially in our culture that is driven by looks, popularity and success. Then throw social media into the mix where everyone posts their best photos of their seemingly fabulous, perfect lives and you set yourself up for feeling inferior. But it’s important to realize that not everyones life if perfect.
No one shows the outtakes of that photo they posted- you know, the one where it took 25 tries to get a good one? No one shows the days when they are feeling bloated or not well. No one shows those boring days when nothing is going on, or those frustrating moments when nothing seems to go right. But instances like those happen to EVERYONE. EVERY DAMN PERSON. No one is an exception.
I ran into a friend at an audition the other day and we got to chatting for a while (we hadn’t seen each other in monthhssss). I started to tell her something I was bummed about (a part I didn’t get that I really wanted) and she started telling me about this new personal outlook she has taken on. It’s pretty simple:
Instead of looking at little bumps as failures, look at them as learning experiences that are guiding you to where you need to go- to where you are meant to go. That role (or job or opportunity or whatever it is) wasn’t meant to happen. Instead, it was meant to teach you something about yourself and lead you to the great opportunity that waits for you around the corner. Don’t let a bump in the road make you treat yourself badly.
She also told me that she has been focusing on reversing her negative self talk. Whenever she thinks something negative, she reverses it and says it out loud. For example: Instead of saying “ugh I look fat today”, say “I am making so much progress and my body can do such incredible things”.
It is a hard thing to do, I know, but if we want to have a better self-relationship we need to start practicing more self love every single day.
What this friend said to me really hit home and made me think about self talk. I am actively trying every day to reverse my negative self talk and treat myself better. And so far, it’s making me feel pretty damn good. I haven’t been perfect, and sometimes it can be a struggle…but it’s mentally very satisfying to be kind to yourself.
When you’re kind to yourself, you will treat your body better and you will be a kinder person to others…so what’s the downside? There isn’t one, beautiful babes…there isn’t one.
I hope you take this to heart and work hard to talk nicely to yourself…you deserve it.